Hi lovelies,
Consider this my way of checking up on you, so HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
How is this month of February treating you?
I hope the answers are all positives and if not, donât worry, you got this!
I know when times get tough, we slowly start abandoning our self care rituals, spiritual practices, healthcare regimes, etc. Some might even have reasons like, âIâll start a new ritual or start being consistent from the next month⌠next weekâŚ.next weekend or even the next morning!â
As valid as that is, I think this blog will nudge you or rather remind you to be a little more consistent with your practices, even before those time stamps! For simple reasons that :
- Being consistent gives you a head start for other activities and areas of your life. We are also more likely to stick to already existing habits than the new ones, thus it is better to practice your practices or habits, than go creating new ones every single day.
- Whatever it is, that you mean by your rituals, habits or practices, they will help you get through those tough times or enhance the good ones. It will help you stay grounded, and instill a sense of confidence for showing up for yourself. Not to forget the boost in self esteem.
I hope, I justified your reason for clicking on this blog. Letâs get to the solutions now, shall we?
If you feel that you have been abandoning your practices lately or have been questioning them a lot, or have been wanting a change. Hereâs your cue to make those changes, right away.
PS: Do not worry, month of February is a bit to slow and harsh, itâs a mirror enhancing our shadows, so we can work on them and get rid of them â once and for all.
Check out my February Blog to understand the vibes and readings of this month.
This blog is not about understanding your reasons for not being consistent with those practices, it is more about How to Get Back to Them, i.e. if you want to!
Hereâs How to To Be Consistent In Your Practices:
- Redefine your practices, change as required & Fall in love
(will be using the word ritual interchangeably with practices, habits, etc â simply because it sounds witchy đ, feel free to name it whatever you like)
What do these rituals mean to you? Why do you want to follow them? Why and when did you decide to follow them? What purpose do they serve? Have they already served their purpose? Whatâs keeping you stuck?
You need to be very clear with these questions (feel free to dig deeper with other similar questions) before you start blaming yourself for not being consistent with your rituals.
We all start new habits, practices or rituals from time to time, however it always has a deeper reason. For example, you looked at your friend who lost weight and looks amazing, and you start forming a new habit of exercising daily. Some habits stick and some donât, based on lots of factors like motivation behind that habit, your energy levels, mental state, daily schedules, etc. We will talk about how to start forming new habits which stick in some other blog.
Coming back to the deeper level: the reason behind this habit was comparison, jealousy, or simply self esteem issues around weight.
The deeper the reason and motivation, the longer it sticks. But many a times thatâs not enough, and you fall back to your old routines. Therefore, you need to be very clear with the whyâs and howâs of forming or trying to stick to any habit or ritual. (and mostly try to have a positive reason behind them than something like jealousy.)
For Example :
Letâs say I want to be consistent with my morning rituals, hereâs how I will answers those questions:
What do these rituals mean to me?
I feel at peace, more calm, focused and happier in general or throughout my day if I follow through my practices.
Why do you want to follow them?
It makes me more confident, joyful and proud to show up for myself that way every single day. This is the way I show love & respect to my being. It keeps me disciplined and focused.
Why and when did you decide to follow them? What purpose do they serve?
I started it on 1st January 2024, with an aim to bring more spiritual peace and abundance into my life.
Have they already served their purpose?
They are serving their purpose, my days are much brighter, intentional and peaceful. I can see more growth and positivity come into my life. But its an ongoing process.
Since, my goal was not a structured one, this is how I would answer. However, with more structured goals like fitness goal or fasting, project deadline, habits formation, A challenge, etc : your answers will be more crisp. And based on those answers you can form new questions to explore deeper layers like what each rituals mean to me, how will I rate their effects on my life, what is going wrong, why canât I follow through, etc.
Not everything your younger self decided (even if a day younger) will serve “this” you. Find out areas or practices that are not serving you or are serving you only partially. Remove those parts or modify them to your needs.
For example : I started writing morning pages each day rather than just journaling at night, when I realized why the old method of my journaling was not working for me.
Another tip that can help you is to redefine your rituals. Letâs say you started your daily exercise regime. However you hate the word exercise or regime, as it brings out an old (maybe subconscious at times) memory or emotion on surface, maybe a bad PT teacher or a bad injury in the gym, etc. In such cases, instead of forcing yourself to show up to the gym every single day, simply change its connotation.
Maybe try avoiding these words : EXERCISE or DISCIPLINE etc, change it to something you look forward to, for example : devotion to my self or fitness or healthy body or mindful habits, etc. Get Creative.
To give a personal take on this : I hated getting up early in the mornings, I always thought I was a night owl. However, I knew I was most productive during the mornings or I felt great throughout the day if I woke up early. And night will always be special to me but it symbolized peace and relaxation, to wind down. Thus, I made a shift: I started calling myself a morning person even before I became one. And I glorified âMORNING RITUALSâ as something very chic, classy, devotional and growth oriented. I watched many vlogs which glorified it too. And today I sit here, typing this blog out for you all at 9:28 am post finishing half my tasks for the day, by getting up at 5:55 am.
The Final tip under this heading for you all is : FALL IN LOVE
Only choose those practices, habits or rituals which interest you and which really make your life better & easier rather than making it tougher & troublesome.
For example: I started my daily exercise habit, planning to go to gym every single day, however I easily gave that up in 3 days. What form of exercise stuck with me then? : YOGA.
I have been consistent ever since. Thus choose your goal and choose a way that you love to get there.
Another example would be my morning rituals, I wake up excited even if I would have slept for just 2 hours to get these morning rituals done. And if not done, I would feel incomplete or bad & probably do it later on as the day goes by. However, I havenât missed a single day since January. It involves reading, affirmations, watching sunrise or birds, yoga and bath.
Therefore, the first step to sticking to your rituals is REDEFINE CHANGE and FALL IN LOVE.
- Accountability
If you are very sure about your goals, rituals, etc. And you know you love to follow them, they are serving their purpose. However still for some reason you arenât able to follow through, then this pointer is for you.
Our mind loves comfort and it takes the path of least resistance. Yes, you might love yoga but nothing feels better & easier than laying in bed whole day eating junk. SO, how will you motivate yourself to get up and do those things you promised yourself to do, even if it is the things you love?
Become Accountable.
There are different ways :
- Bullet journaling
- Habit tracker
- Relying on a friend
- Punishing or rewarding yourself post completion
- Enroll into a program or class, etc.
However, none worked for me in the long term. Please do not be discouraged, if any of the above methods work for you or you got other ways to keep yourself in check, then go ahead. Skip this part.
For me, what worked was my own WILL.
I hate force and when other people tell me what to do especially when I donât feel like it or havenât asked them for that advice. (even if it is my own mom) I know I sound like a teenager. But itâs not completely wrong.
People act, respond, behave differently, can have different likes and dislikes, so why force your way on somebody? I might not like cooking, but I will hate it even more if somebody forced me to cook. On the other hand, I might cook when the need arises.
Itâs the freedom of autonomy that I like.
Even the Universe provides you that. One thing that you are born with is that freedom, freedom to chose your thoughts, reality, faith, etc. And anything or anyone going against it, is simply not right.
Coming back from this tangent. I knew if I depended on an App or another person, I would end up rebelling against that, even if I asked them to do so. And ultimately that person would give up.
Why would someone push me to stick to my goals when I donât respect it enough myself. And if I respect it why would I need another person.
(I do now, goals or habits taken up together and holding each other accountable â comparing to the other person and sticking to goals â is a good way : however, I am simply saying that it doesnât apply to me, further comparison or feeling guilty to not follow up when the other person did â will push me down to another rabbit hole of self pity â which equals a freeze or rebel response)
It depends on you. You know yourself the best, thus find the best way to keep yourself in check.
What I do is PRETTY SIMPLE to hear but pretty darn hard to follow (especially for me).
I give myself these challenges wherein if I fall short for even a day, I would have to restart that habit or challenge all over again, from DAY 1. And I stick to it!
It does get pretty harsh sometimes, for example : I took the challenge of not eating junk for 92 days (as after 3 months it will automatically become a habit which I wouldnât need to track later on) and ate French fries by mistake. Even after my brain and loved ones told me its okay, or that French fries was not junk or that the quantity wasnât much, in my heart I knew I would have to restart. And I did.
I would be lying to myself if I didnât : And I hate lying to myself.
DO not worry, knowing yourself and figuring out what works for you, comes with a lot of trial and error.
I tried all the methods above and none worked. Until 2021 when I took on my first ever challenge. So please be patient with yourself. And treat yourself with kindness and love.
I might have restarted my challenge post the fries incident, however it wasnât as a punishment, it was because I loved and respected myself enough to redo it and not lie to myself to feel good momentarily.
- Let go of the Rigidity, So What If You Didnât Follow It For A Day?
With all being said, be kind to yourself. You do not have to copy me. Before this challenge, I did follow this pointer and it worked very well for me.
I do fall into the category of people who plan their habits for every single day, and if for even a legit reason like sickness or hectic work schedule, I couldnât follow through on any one of the days â I would give up the whole thing altogether. And feel guilty, sad and angry for days, thinking I was a failure.
I know now, I wasnât a failure , I was never a failure â because unlike most people I at least tried it.
You all reading this, You all are already Successful â you showed up for yourself â you are here trying to figure out how to stick to your promises to yourself. You didnât give up.
What I did do wrong however, was giving up the next day. Be kind, gentle and reasonable with yourself.
In my case, I could have simply added another day to it or would have restarted again, re-evaluating what went wrong & simply modifying it to meet my schedule, energy or will.
Do not be hard on yourself, no way you are going to be the same person every single day, or have same levels of energy, desires, thoughts and strength etc. Therefore, be understanding of your body, mind and soul â what it needs, etc.
- Have Faith
Have faith in yourself. If you yourself keep belittling you or telling yourself that how hard it is for you to follow through your commitments then IT WILL BECOME HARD AND EVEN IMPOSSIBLE.
Be your own cheerleader and see the magic happen. You just need the intention and first step, Universe will be by your side to push you and help you. You just need to show up for yourself. Have faith in yourself and Universe. Building habits, following rituals, etc is your personal commitment â do not make it unnecessarily stressful or strenuous. Enjoy it, go with the flow, love it and Embrace the Magic.
- Find a Partner for some of those
I already discussed it in brief earlier, in the accountability pointer. To add further, some practices and rituals become more fun, enjoyable and easy to follow if done with another friend or partner. It also improves your relationships. And automatically makes you both accountable. Only caution I wanna give you is to look out for feelings of jealousy, comparison or overly competitive behaviors which can ultimately ruin the purpose of this. Follow through with compassion, love and respect yourself, your partner and your practices.
- Set yourself free of high expectations
There should be no stick and carrot rule when it comes to your personal goals. Combining all the pointers from above : Be disciplined, let go of rigidity be accountable, redefine your practices, etc. However, do not beat yourself up with unrealistic goals. And do not become too rigid with it.
For example: wake up at 6 am, brush at 6:05 am, yoga at 6:05 am to 7 am, etc.
Start slow and gradually grow to challenge yourself. Start with fewer habits or goals and slowly add, modify or remove as per your needs.
Do not find a video or blog or person, and try to copy them, find out what works for you. Enjoy the process, donât make it unnecessarily complicated, hard or hateful.
- Take a 21 day challenge
If you want to get a jump start for your practices, take a 21 days or 75 days or 92 days challenge. Start small â 21 days challenge would be apt if you are struggling to be consistent.
Check out my blog on my 75 days challenge, alter the number of days and the habits as per your suitability.
Enjoy, have a great day ahead.
Hope you all overcome whatever is keeping you stuck in your practices.
Sending your love and light.
Catch you soonâŚâŚâŚâŚ