Let’s get one thing straight before anything else:
📌 I am not perfect. Nobody is.
I didn’t do this 40 days challenge to prove I’m superhuman, disciplined, aesthetic, consistent, perfect, or whatever cute Pinterest label people cling onto.
I did it because I wanted to grow and growth doesn’t always look glamorous.
And yes I was going to write this blog whether I succeeded perfectly or failed halfway.
Because both stories matter. Both versions teach something.
Now here’s the messy truth:
💔 It sucked. I hated parts of it.
There were days my brain threw tantrums.
There were days I wanted to quit and go back to comfort, chaos, and autopilot.
But I didn’t quit — I prioritized.
Not perfectly… but intentionally.
And that matters more.
Hi all,
Welcome back to the second part of my 40-day challenge journey.
And yes — let’s address the elephant in the room:
I failed. On Day 8.
Not dramatically. Not rebelliously.
Just… slowly. Quietly.
The way most breakdowns actually happen.
Why?
Because life happened and I wasn’t prepared to meet life with a plan, boundaries, or emotional stability.
The Day Everything Went Sideways
It wasn’t one big thing.
It was a pile-up of small things that finally tipped the scale.
I had a tough day.
The kind where:
- your brain feels heavy
- your body feels tired
- and everything feels slightly wrong
I felt depressed. Overworked. Emotionally exhausted.
I overslept — which instantly threw me into guilt, panic, and self-criticism mode.
Suddenly, the whole challenge didn’t feel like growth, it felt like a bad exposure.
Like a spotlight on everything I still haven’t figured out.
The Spiral
My thoughts weren’t kind. They weren’t neutral.
They were loud.
- “How am I going to finish everything before 2025 ends?”
- “2026 is almost here… and I’m nowhere close to where I thought I’d be.”
- “Why am I still living here?”
- “Why was past-me so high vibe, confident and effortless — while current me feels stuck?”
- “Sunday is coming — and instead of rest it feels like pressure.”
- “Monthly reset on the last day of the month? Perfect. More stress.”
Then came the financial storm:
- What if I can’t afford xyz?
- Should I cancel my manicure again?
- Why does every self-care choice feel like a negotiation?
- Why does it feel like my blog and tuitions are liabilities instead of aligned work?
- Why is everyone else moving and I’m stuck budgeting my own joy?
It was a lot.
And honestly?
I got too tired to keep fighting myself.
So I stopped.
I unfortunately began this challenge on the wrong foot.
I kept prioritizing office work…
then part time work..
and suddenly my entire day looked like this:
📍 Work → 📍 More work → 📍 Exhaustion → 📍 “I’ll do the challenge later.”
Except “later” turned into 10 PM.
And by then?
I was too tired to deal with basic tasks , let alone a full challenge with habits, structure, journaling, and definitely not exercise.
It wasn’t lack of desire.
It was shaky boundaries.
But Here’s the Part I Didn’t Expect
Even though I failed the challenge…
I didn’t fail myself.
Because this time:
- I didn’t numb.
- I didn’t give up.
- I didn’t fall back into old patterns just because I slipped once.
- I didn’t pretend everything was fine.
I sat with it.
The discomfort.
The shame.
The confusion.
The fear.
The exhaustion.
And that — weirdly — is progress.
Where I Went Wrong (aka the things YOU need to avoid)
Because if we don’t reflect… what’s the point of a challenge?
- The challenge wasn’t personal enough.
I jumped into it with excitement, but I didn’t stop to tailor it to my life. My routines, energy levels, priorities, and lifestyle weren’t considered. A challenge should be built around who you are & want to become, not who you wish you were overnight. If it doesn’t align with your values, schedule, personality, and real life hustles, then it stops feeling inspiring and starts feeling like pressure. And the moment something feels forced, resistance creeps in. - FOMO kicked in.
Instead of staying grounded in my own pace, I found myself looking sideways. Everyone else seemed to be doing more — reading more, waking earlier, working out harder, ticking off habits like machines. That comparison stole the joy and made my own progress feel small. Instead of celebrating the baby steps, I got caught up in what I wasn’t doing. - I treated it like punishment.
A challenge should feel like an investment in your future self — not punishment for who you currently are. But somewhere along the way, it shifted into “fixing” mode, as if I was broken or behind. I approached it with guilt instead of curiosity, and that mindset turned something empowering into something heavy. - Trying to do everything at once.
I expected myself to transform instantly , new habits, new routine, new mindset, new discipline… all at the same time. But growth doesn’t work like that. Habits stick one layer at a time. Changing your whole life overnight is unrealistic, and expecting perfection from day one only guarantees burnout and disappointment. - No clear boundaries with work.
I drifted away from my weekly plan and spent a few days at a friend’s place, which pushed my schedule around more than I expected. I still somehow managed the challenge during those days, but everything else — especially work — got delayed. On Day 8, my boss pointed out how far I had slipped, and that hit me hard. I’m someone who likes being ahead, prepared, and in control when it comes to work — so in that moment, work took priority. And honestly? I couldn’t argue with that. It mattered. With clearer boundaries and a bit more structure, things probably would’ve flowed better. - Panicking like time is running out.
There was this constant pressure in the back of my mind whispering, “I need to fix everything before 2025 ends.” I wanted everything done before Christmas so I could enjoy the season and step into the new year feeling complete, accomplished, and ahead. But that urgency created anxiety instead of momentum. The truth is: time isn’t slipping away — rushing isn’t necessary. I have 2026. Growth doesn’t expire on New Year’s Eve. Life isn’t a countdown — and I’m not late. And honestly, the challenge was never meant to be the final destination but just a push. The real goal was for the habits to stick long after the challenge ends. So whether I completed it perfectly or not doesn’t matter — what matters is that I continue. - Letting feelings dictate effort.
On Day 8, I let myself get swept up in anxiety, stress, and overwhelming emotions. I let how I felt decide what I did — and that’s where things slipped. If I could speak to that version of myself now, I’d tell her: “Fuck your feelings. Follow the plan.” Because if I had done that, I’d still be in the game today. But at the same time, I also honour the version of me who was exhausted, overwhelmed, and still tried. I know I did the best I could with what I had in that moment. And as long as I learned the lesson and recommit with clarity and intention — I’m still moving forward. I’m not behind. I’m just becoming stronger.
What I Did Right
Because this matters just as much. It’s easy to obsess over mistakes, but growth also comes from acknowledging the parts of us that showed up, tried, and cared.
- I genuinely tried.
Not the aesthetic, “look-at-me-being-productive” kind of effort, but real effort. The kind where you push through resistance, adjust your mindset, and show up even when no one is watching. All seven days, with a hundred different things pulling at me, I still showed up. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and honestly running on fumes — but I tried. It wasn’t perfect, but it was sincere. And sometimes sincerity is progress. Sometimes effort itself is the win.
- I knew when to stop.
There’s a fine line between discipline and self-punishment and I’m proud I didn’t cross it. I didn’t force myself past burnout just to say I “didn’t quit.” I listened to myself. Sometimes stopping isn’t failure, it’s self-awareness. It’s choosing alignment over ego. - I didn’t slide back into old habits after it ended.
And honestly? That’s huge. Usually when something fails, the instinct is to abandon everything and go into comfort-mode chaos. But I didn’t do that. I didn’t rebound into the habits I was trying to break. That means the challenge wasn’t useless — something stuck. - I reflected instead of hiding behind shame.
Instead of pretending it didn’t happen, or pretending it didn’t bother me, I sat with it. I asked what went wrong and why. I chose honesty over avoidance. Reflection is where the real transformation happens ,because you can’t grow from something you refuse to look at.
Final Thoughts
Challenges aren’t meant to turn you into a perfect version of yourself.
They’re meant to:
✨ Reveal your patterns
✨ Strengthen your discipline
✨ Show you where you’re sabotaging
✨ Teach you what actually works for you
And most importantly…
🖤 Remind you that you are allowed to evolve — imperfectly.
We don’t need perfection.
We need honesty, effort, and alignment.
The challenge isn’t over.
And then — here’s what happened next.
I gave myself another half day to sulk, feel, process, and just exist without forcing anything.
After that, I got up, finished all my pending work, cleared my mental clutter, and finally sat down at 9 PM with my journal. I did my December monthly reset, made fresh goals, and even budgeted both November and December.
And while reflecting, something clicked:
I actually saw results — real results — from just seven days.
My body shifted. My mindset shifted. My awareness shifted. That means the effort wasn’t wasted. It meant the foundation was working — it just needed refining.
So instead of ending the story with failure, I chose to continue it with intention.
For the sake of ending 2025 strong — not rushed, but proud — I decided to try again.
This time, with more preparation, clearer boundaries, and actual structure.
So here it is:
✨ I’m starting a 21-day challenge.
Shorter. Focused. Aligned.
Something I can finish before the holidays, while still enjoying them.
This time, I’m not just hopeful — I’m excited.
Because now, I’m not just doing the challenge.
I’m doing it better. And I’m doing it with a version of me who has already learned what doesn’t work.
I hope those of you who haven’t joined yet will hop in, and everyone keeps giving their best.
Until the next update, keep doing your best — I can’t wait to meet your improved, best version in my next blog very soon.
Catch you in the next one..