Hi loves,
I am back!
I guess there was a big reason as to why I stopped writing for so long( post lockdown). I needed this realization.
I needed those heartbreaks, I needed those friendships and I needed those losses…
To understand what I do now.
To begin to love myself more, to begin to appreciate everything more.
To realise that, Yes I was slipping, that not every day, month or year is going to be an uphill and yet be excited and overjoyed by, even the lows.
It took a while and a lot out of me to be where I am honestly, but I wouldn’t change a thing!
I wouldn’t wish things went differently, I wouldn’t want simpler situations or better ones for that matter!
It was and is all perfect!
Now .. Now… before you start throwing things at me for making life seem so flowery, let me tell you what the heck I’m here for..
HELLO all, This blog might not be any different from any of the information that’s already out there, however I wanna take you on my journey of self love ( which I tell you, was no piece of cake) and maybe inspire some of you to hang in there or be able to see yourself, despite whatever life might be throwing at you right now!
Before I get into it, I would like to throw in a strong feeling of gratitude to this “ person” who inspired me the other day, to start writing again. And that’s when I realised writing these blogs are also my form of self love!
I love each minute, each word and each sentence of it… God knows why I ever stopped ( actually I do 🙂 but lets get into the WHY’S later).
Now I have come across a million videos and blogs which talk about self love, but you know what’s different in each one them .. Its their own sense of what exactly SELF LOVE or SELF CARE looks like for them.
For some it might be ME Time, for others it might be time in nature or with family or a morning routine or a skin care routine or yoga, or working for the job of their dream etc etc.
Now all these are very much valid and acceptable. My version however is slightly unique – might I say!
To begin with : self love and self care are not different for me. As one without the other seems just incomplete.
And to further explain what it looks like for me : SELF LOVE is the form of appreciation, respect, feeling, understanding and care for one’s own self which otherwise we give so easily to others.
And its been a process to reach here and I still slip on days where I curse my entire existence. But days on which, I really understand and embody these concepts are the days, I feel truly happy and blissful despite any pain, hardship, failure or loss that life might have thrown at me that day.
There are different ways I express this love for myself, which like most of us I’m guilty of not showing often or enough!
For convenience of this blog I have divided it into two categories: Internal or Esoteric and External or Visible.
INTERNAL OR ESOTERIC
To begin with understanding what do I mean by this form of expression. I mean everything from just being aware of this love to going out on a limb to express it.
Think of it like knowing how much you love your girlfriend or boyfriend and then showing them that love in ways you know the best. It might not always resonate with your partner but you know, you love to express your feelings this way.
I do it by the spiritual practices like meditation, candle and aroma baths ( whole other blog topic, have fallen in love with those by the way), reading books, just sitting with my thoughts, writing, journaling, etc.
Its ways I get time to internally reflect on my feelings, my inner self doesn’t always like it but at the end it always appreciates the time and effort I put into these little forms of gestures for myself, to make myself more at peace and to be internally happy.
EXTERNAL OR VISIBLE
Some practices that make you dive deeper might not always look like a big thing.
“Some times we need to pamper ourselves, to date ourselves, to surprise ourselves, to show it love in the way it wants!”
This for me includes making time for my hobbies ( sometimes during exams or stressful times too), dressing up, going on walks, dancing, spending time watching Netflix (ps : without the guilt), drawing, listening to music, making some tea or buying junk food, or making a healthy meal, playing uke, watching the birds, cutting off people, going off internet, not taking calls, spending time with loved ones, doing skin care, spending time wearing all those jewelries and dresses just for the sake of it i.e not waiting for a special occasion.
Because I want to make it a priority to show myself that every minute with myself is precious!
Another concept that helps a lot is : BEING THE MAIN CHARACTER OF YOUR STORY ( don’t get cocky or put yourself on an unnecessary pedestal but also don’t neglect your own importance please!)
NOT SO FLOWERY PART
Now that I have talked enough on how I romanticize myself and how taking some time out for yourself is possible, as it can just be that you stand and appreciate yourself in the mirror for 5 minutes or take endless selfies, etc. It differs from people to people.
Its time to talk about not so flowery part of self love. If you ever wonder what can be wrong with self care or self love, its overdoing it!
Yes like a friend of mine said :
“TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING IS POISON! “
Sometimes due to all these advices which are great no doubt, people believe there are set of rules that need to be followed otherwise I must not be loving myself. Or people might put themselves on this high unnecessary pedestal that they give importance to no one else around. Or they might be so invested in it that other part of life goes neglected. Or simply, they think its “ too much work” to put in and never even start doing small things to feel this love or emotion for themselves, etc.
All and any of such things might be bad for us.
I did not talk about importance of self love much in this,
because:
A) I think there’s already enough content on that and
B) I wanted to talk about less addressed issues.
Self care and love is no doubt an essential however it need not be time consuming or be something for which you need to take time out in your day for.
It can be simply living with this thought and feeling whole day long, being grateful for your body and for everything around or just appreciating yourself in any way that might seem best for you.
Even if it means eating that whole pastry or simply taking a nap. It is about respecting yourself and giving yourself the permission to be yourself in any situation.
Now this brings me to the last topic for the day: SELF LOVE AND CARE doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t resonate with it. You can call it anything you want. It can be simply a reward for yourself after long day of work, or a gaming night or a spa day. It is whatever you call it or mean by it.
So don’t go creating rigid rituals and habits for inculcating it,
JUST BE!!!
AND ENJOY BEING!!
I hope you resonated with some of the things I mentioned here.
Thank you for reading! 🙂