Hi lovelies,
A warm welcome to you all!
March has kept me quite busy, of course in a positive productive way.
Although its got the fire of January, but the growth is slow.
How is March treating you?
The reason I began with an update to my life with respect to the energies of this season, is because of today’s topic :
“Do not beat yourself up, for not being consistent with your practices!”
Although March brings us the energy and opportunity to connect with our spiritual side, the hustle of our daily lives can very easily become a hindrance to that. I know it has been happening to me. I am doing my rituals, however it hasn’t got the same depth as last month. And it fine as long as I am actually consistent with taking that time out for myself.
Today’s blog however is for people who aren’t able to find that time!
First things first, “It’s okay!”
If you need a little help to get back on track, check out my recent blog on ‘How to be consistent’.
This blog on the other hand is not about giving you more tips on consistently, rather its about accepting the ebbs and flow of life.
SO what if you have been focusing more on any other area of life other than spirituality or self care?
Sometimes we beat ourselves up, because we don’t consider the fact that life is uncertain.
Your routines won’t look the same each day. Your work won’t be the same. Your energy, mindset, body, won’t be the same.
Sure, your routines or tasks might look the same, but the time at which they are performed, the energy put into them, the effectiveness etc, will differ even if it is to the slightest of the degree.
For example: I have been beating myself up for not getting up early enough to incorporate my yoga practice in my morning routine, unlike previous few months. Despite, knowing that I go to bed late these days and my schedule has changed, and even after religiously doing it in the evening, my perfectionist brain wants it the way it was originally planned in month of January.
Another example is my meditation practice. For some reasons like tiredness, hectic schedule, work, etc I haven’t been able to achieve a very deep state of meditation unlike past few months and its bothering me, because I feel incomplete.
And hence, this blog.
I know I am not alone.
We beat ourselves for not being Perfect in all that we do.
We know where that takes us, we either get burnt out or we give up on the things we promised ourselves.
Before I went on those extremes, I caught myself here, as I expect this blog to do that for you.
I want you to realise this issue before taking any disappointing decision, before either giving up or becoming burnt out, before you start hating yourself, or becoming more hard on yourself :
Here’s a reminder : ACCEPT YOURSELF, NO IT’S NOT AN EXCUSE TO BE LAZY OR nOT DO YOUR BEST – BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY DOING YOUR BEST!
Acceptance is the first step of any self growth or spiritual journey. If we constantly judge ourselves (thereby we start judging others, comparing ourselves, etc) then we are no better than when we were mindlessly going about our lives.
You are here, because you took the first step, you realized what you needed to change. And you started working on it!
But you haven’t started working at all, if you still can’t accept yourself.
One of the physical way to learn this is through YOGA. I always wondered how people had great epiphanies or breakthroughs or introspection during yoga, its just exercise right?
And 2 months into it, I have got my answer.
ONE OF THE BEST THING it has taught me is PATIENCE & ACCEPTANCE.
It was really annoying to watch someone be hundred times better at flexibility than you, when you can’t even touch your toes. Worse, when you used to be that flexible and due to loss of practice – lost it.
I have gotten mad, frustrated and even cried during some of the yoga sessions. Relief came from acknowledging that I can’t force my body to transform that way in a day.
SO much was becoming clear. For example: we are on different journeys. And no one is better or worse than others.
Ego was hurt. Body was hurt too.
I knew, if I pushed beyond my limit, I would cause more damage than good. That flexibility is through practice and that is through consistency. Doing 3 hours one day and not showing up for 3 days is a million times worse than doing just 10 minutes a day.
1 week into it, I finally ACCEPTED myself. I was not hard on myself for losing that flexibility, rather I focused on improving my health. I focused on showing up for myself. I focused on being grateful to myself for trying to bring some positive changes in my life.
It didn’t matter then that on some days I couldn’t do a complete downward dog pose when on other days I could probably do a Halasana or plough pose.
I slowly learnt what works on which day based on energy levels, schedule, etc. I did gentle yoga during periods or pms, whereas gave my all during ovulation when energy is at its peak. However, it did not mean that I would still overexert myself during ovulation (just because ‘in general’ it got most energy), it also depended on my body, tiredness and other factors. On few days just 30 minutes was not enough so I didn’t restrict myself to the routine, I did do as much as felt nice.
And all this became possible due to one factor : ACCEPTANCE.
Acceptance of the body, mind and situations. Accepting where you are at helps you move forward. But beating yourself up for where you are, only pushes you further down.
It demoralizes you, makes you look only at the negatives, sets unrealistic expectations, distrust, disbelief in your own self and makes the journey further more tiresome and at times boring.
Think of yourself as a child, would you be so harsh on a child who got straight A’s in the exam but couldn’t brush each morning on time (like exact 6 am). Absurd.
Let go of that perfectionism that keeping you looped in negativity.
Consistency is better than perfection. Showing up is more important than reaching 100% of the desired outcome.
Small efforts, one step at a time and you will have climbed the mountain in no time, rather than sitting at the foot and contemplating past failures, when you couldn’t climb it all in one go.
Acceptance is the first step, letting go of perfectionism is another.
What makes these both successful is Consistent effort regardless of the outcome.
And some positive, caring self talk, pushes you along. You will find many tips on consistency, however none at acceptance. As acceptance comes from no where but your own heart.
Sit with yourself, talk, listen and understand : why it is the way it is?
Become aware of your self, your emotions, your body, your challenges. And finally when you are ready, accept it all.
Accept yourself for wanting more sleep, for that body pain. Understand in cases where its not your fault or even in cases when it is, that its okay. Life doesn’t end with that one mistake.
Forgive yourself. And give yourself a big hug. Be a parent you always wanted to have.
Being gentle, spoiling, loving but not overlooking serious mistakes. Know when to hold yourself accountable and when its okay to cut some slack.
You can be both accountable and accepting at the same time.
Coming back to yoga example, I did not allow myself to give up because I had no time in the mornings, I accepted the situation and held myself accountable to show up at other time of the day (evening). And just that flexibility was enough to bring the momentum back!
I hope you found this blog helpful.
Let me know if I missed out on something, Your own methods or experiences, in the comments below.
Until next times, Accept yourself and others!
Thankyou so much for reading!
Catch you soon…………….