(ps: written on 2023 June)
Hi Lovelies,
Living Life of your dream, what does that look like?
Is it those big mansions, big cars, branded clothes?
Is it good family time, relations, having a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend?
What is it?
I know the answer is just one word : SUBJECTIVE.
But, I still chose this topic for today, because I wanted to share an amazing day of my life, which I never even prayed for!
In normal circumstances I would not even pause from mundane day to day habitual routine to appreciate it like I do right now! And that’s all the more reason, why it must be spoken of right away, here and now.
Consider it a fancy gratitude journal template for your mundane days which despite being filled with light, love and wonderment goes unnoticed!
My day started as usual, however a little yoga and some new crazy healthy food, lifted the mood! Seriously I have sore arms from that yoga session, it was that good! I have been trying to be more and more positive since many years now, but it was only after I started my “secret depression” meds that it hit me! Something was definitely wrong, and I needed to fix it! It is then when I started doing a lot of inner work, I figured why despite wanting to be more positive, I just could never be.
Why everyday every little thing annoyed the crap out of me.
Why I was depressed?
And I truly am getting those answers from past three weeks. So,what did I do different now?
PS: Which got me off the meds! That was bit of a tangent for another blog. This one will focus on how a day, a simple day can be looked at completely differently! It is about shedding some light on very normal yesterday, which seems extraordinary now! It doesn’t mean it didn’t involve some bad shit, annoying things, saddening events still occurred!
After yoga session, I had this crazy energy. And if you know me, you know if I am home and got crazy energy – I go into MONIKA MODE, which I did! I cleaned while dancing on One direction ( old songs! Miss 2010 !!). This was a very conscious decision by the way. My mom was on a call with somebody who is known to bring the vibration, mood, energy, whatever you say – down – for not just me but my entire house. So this is how I ignored that while still feeling productive and accomplished!
After the tiring mini workout there, I went for my relaxing candle + incense bath!! That is honestly the highlight for all my days ( since JUNE 2023, when I first started having them).
My family and myself included are known for our impromptu plans.. which I love, minimum planning and going with the flow. The more you sit and contemplate the more complicating and tiring it gets ( doesn’t mean don’t plan at all !!) So, mom and I decided to go shopping. Not just this, we decided to shop with hardly 1500 rupees in hand! And I see a transition there, the old me would never step out of the house without the money!
Before I proceed further – WE SHOPPED FOR 4K! HOW?Lets see: SO instead of focusing on no money, I decided to focus on how dressing up would feel, how happy mom would be to get this time with me and to step out of home after months, how happy I would be to buy all those aesthetics, how beautiful my home might look, how amazing my body will feel with those healthy stuff I was planning to buy,etc etc. ( If you are not aware, its one of the techniques to beat LACK MENTALITY : a concept for another time for sure.)
And since my focus was on positive stuff, nothing bad could hinder that inner peace and happiness.
We got dressed, I wore the dress I felt most confident in ( which I generally would save for special occasion). Booked an auto and on the road, we go…
The moment we reached the place, we were so lost in the whole process : going from putting everything into the cart to actually removing unnecessary stuff we don’t need. For example a simple decision of not buying biscuits and getting an extra packet of oats instead.
Mom loves to shop however she loves to go shopping with me even more! Because I don’t rush her, because I listen to her, because I encourage her to buy things she wants when she questions the budget, etc. She hardly can do that with my dad or brother! Seeing that and having that quality time with her made me feel so good.. that no words here can describe it!
By the time we finished, mom had informed me that dad had sent some money. But it wasn’t enough for everything we had put in cart! It was not nearly enough! Here’s the thing, we didn’t wanna remove a single thing from the cart. So a wave of disappointment surrounded us. I pulled mom to a quieter place and asked her to get me another trolly. I started putting all the things that made us internally satisfied and by the time I was done, there were 10 to 15 such things which were left out. These things though would taste amazing, feel amazing to have were ultimately just junk and brand names. So, I decided to go for it and with that awareness, I left those items and went ahead billing!
One of my favourite items had to also be removed to get a really important stuff too! It made me upset for like 5 minutes and I was back – THAT I CALL MY PROGRESS!
I got things I loved too so I focused on them. I knew I could come back here next month or so to buy those other stuff, who knows : what if by then they don’t seem good anymore? As I notice my taste evolving over the years. SO, coming to the FLOWERY PART ( yes my blogs cant be complete without this word )
I got so many cute aesthetics as well as healthy stuff. I got my scented candles that I kept wishing for since so long but never bought. They were either always out of stock or the toxic ones. So yes, I manifested them well this time, non toxic soothing, beautiful candles! And I was obsessed with home décor. It had been a while. And I wanted my house to be a space I want to live in peacefully! Which really lit up the place, my house feels more pleasant than ever!
I also got myself a cute little mug, which is just so adorable that I keep annoying my friend with its pictures! Just so grateful for these little things.
That brings me to the point I made earlier – I Got the reality I focused on, not the lack of money but abundance of happiness!
I Encourage you to Choose your reality today , its really that simple!
So, a happy ending?No, not really – We were rejected by 3 auto drivers, when we had three heavy bags to carry!
WE somehow reached home and realised all our savings was used up too.
I got a horrible headache teaching the kids who come home for tuition.
Worst of all – We got a report.. my dad’s health report. It made me and my mom feel guilty, we felt horrible thinking, that money spent on shopping could really be used on his medical expenses!
Not to lie, I cried! I fell into a hole filled with nothing but regret. And that’s when it striked! All the lessons since JUNE, every single day, every promise I made myself.
I did recognise it was a route back into that darkness I just came out of.
And I cant fall back! I just can’t…
It took a while to realize that I’m not alone, I am important not just to myself but to people who love me, who might not be able to show just yet but they do, that those feeling and thoughts depression led me believe are as wrong as anything can get,etc SO I DECIDED IN THAT MOMENT – to shift my focus from lack to abundance again.
I did this by simply thanking for everything that happened during the day, for everything we shopped, for every time I laughed with mom, for every breath, for every moment good or bad –
Because remember EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR YOU AND NOT TO YOU! (By leeor Alexandra )
And I made my mom realize it too! I COULDN’T HAVE SUCH AN IMPORTANT PERSON DROWN IN THAT RIVER right next to me, I couldn’t let her to bring me down as well – given her influential position in my life. And I reminded her of all the good moments. And I led her back to our belief – THAT EVERYTHING WORKS OUT! AND guess what it did!
DAD IS COMPLETELY FINE NOW!
This blog went longer than expected so I will end it here. I wanted to add about the minimalism aspect and how did the things unfold, etc. However, I wanna just leave you with this note : LIFE WILL CHALLENGE AND TEST YOU, it tests me every second for every decision – irrespective of how big or small – and my first thought like yesterday to it is always “Why now, test me when I am ready, or this/that”. But trust me and the Universe – WE ARE ALWAYS READY, when these tests are given to us!
Just have faith in yourself and this universe or energy or god!
Until next time – HAVE FAITH AND CHOOSE YOUR REALITY – A GOOD ONE PLEASE!!
Catch you soon….