Ever heard of the word Gratitude?
Everyone knows, or have felt atleast once, what the feeling of gratitude is like.
Google says, “Gratitude is the quality of being thankful, readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”
SO WHY AM I BORING YOU WITH SUCH A TOPIC, you ask?
Well I believe that this simple art or quality or state of being, can help you all tremendously.
Ready for my background story?
(ps: you can directly skip to the important headings, this is mainly for people who either want to connect with me or know the source from which the information is being received)
I grew up in a household, where saying Thankyou and Sorry was equivalent to saying I Love You to a stranger. There was nothing wrong with it, except the general awkwardness and the fact that no body said it out loud.
There were other ways to show appreciation though, to make jokes! Just kidding it wasn’t that bad. However, my exaggeration is not completely absurd. Saying thankyou and sorry was a big deal and reserved for special occasions only.
Very recently did I start this practice of saying Thankyou and Sorry, for random things. Like saying thankyou to my mom for getting me tea to my room during exams, etc. It’s a gesture of love and concern. However, even if I knew its important earlier, my response used to be just a smile in exchange.
And trust me, it was awkward at first to bring in this practice, however person on receiving end of it felt doubly awesome about it. And in no time, did my mom start saying it for small incidences, too.
Now the main question is not what prompted the change in my family, but what prompted the change in general and why was it needed in the first place?
Reasons for being Ungrateful
My journey started in Lockdown, even though it did technically start when I was in High School.
During Lockdown, I came across various topics, rituals, concepts – many which I resonated with and others not so much.
One of them was this concept of Gratitude for unlimited abundance that we already have!
Trust me, it’s coming from a person, whose financial situation is not all fine, right now.
There is a lot we take for granted on daily basis. A lot. Be it a cup of coffee by your partner or parent, be it those extra 50 you found in one of the pockets, be it the bar of chocolate you buy, a gift you receive, the air around, the abundance of water, chance to see another sunset & sunrise, to meet people we meet, to experience life in general.
We become ungrateful for want of certain desires. Do not worry, my hands are raised too, for being guilty here. I am ungrateful every single day for a lot many things in life, because I feel I deserve better or this or that… And it takes a while, but once reminded – there is no better peace!
Another reason I observed for some ungrateful behaviour is ENTITLEMENT – the feeling that there is no need to thank another person, situation, thing or universe – because you had the right to receive it.
For example – We forget to thank person driving us to work – irrespective of whether you are paying them or not. A simple gesture like that could make someone’s day. But we are busy trying to fix our lives, where’s the time to think for others, right?
Wrong!
First and foremost thing, gratitude or saying thankyou is never for others. Just like forgiveness, gratitude aids and heals your own heart and soul. (I will try to explain in a bit.)
Another reason could be, being surrounded and submerged in negative emotions like hate, jealousy, pride, etc. When we are surrounded by such heavy clouds – there’s hardly any light to see.
There’s a line I read today in the book ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ – “ You need to meditate more, you couldn’t see me hiding in the plain sunlight.”
Context behind it is quite different, however it does apply here. Even though the positives are right in front of you, all you will see is the bad in it! And there we go, complaining and being ungrateful, further pushing away all that we desired.
I have a list of incidences where I have been utterly and annoyingly ungrateful – for both small and big occasions. And a list of all people from whom I expected to receive some gratitude, but did not.
Later is not in my hands, but I worked on the former behaviour of mine.
So why did I?
WHY BEING GRATEFUL IS IMPORTANT?
Without elaborating further, let me give you some of the basic advantages of being a thankful soul:
- We come from from a place of abundance and are surrounded by it. Therefore, the least we can do is be grateful for that limitless resources we are gifted with. Before people throw eggs on me for it, I would like to justify. You could be broke, have no friends, be in debt, have health issues, etc – all or none – I would still call you abundant. Simply for the fact that you are here today, being able to read this. You are alive, you got your phone, you got internet, you got inclination to self improvement – you have your breath and you have the basic of human requirements in one way or another. And trust me, if this is not enough – better is on its way – gratitude will help you get there.
- Being grateful keeps you in a better mood & emotions are regulated. You are generally chipper. A half glass full approach is not for delusional people. It’s a way to a better and richer life. I remember writing this in my journal on two very different days : Excitement or happiness as well as sadness is quite draining, I am exhausted. But JOY, pure bliss is not. It is true, negative emotions weigh heavy on your soul. It keeps reminding you of all bad shit in your life, keeping you stuck, complaining and worried – JUST LIKE THE CLOUDS HOLD THE SUN AWAY FROM US IN WINTERS. Despite us being all worthy of receiving everything we desire and all that this world got to offer – we keep being stuck in our own dark shadows.
- Negative emotions are addicting and very influencial. We love being stuck there. Most of the people despite knowing the truth will still chose their comfort of perceived truth over it. Gratitude helps in breaking that cycle.
There are lot many benefits apart from happy mood, better head space and spiritual benefits. However, aim of this blog is just to get you there. I am sure, if you are interested to know more – there is plenty of content to know how being grateful helps us, both scientifically and spiritually.
HOW TO BE MORE GRATEFUL
From being a person who always complained and saw bad in things, people and situations – I became a person who sometimes smile at even an inanimate object for being a part of my room.
I would always see the area of improvement, the minute details of what went wrong ,etc and was never satisfied. It was not so much the need for perfectionism than the real need of things I actually desired versus what I got. Now it is quite obvious, why I landed with not so perfect ones – LAW OF ATTRACTION – I wasn’t a vibrational match for my desires.
I learnt about true Gratitude at my lowest. And I hated every word coming from the other side of the screen. I felt that person is preaching because her life is so perfect – as many of you would be thinking right now. But the truth is it’s not – moreso, I write from my experiences and not about abstract concepts. However, it can be a hard concept to grasp, especially at low points in life. And that is when you need it the most. You cannot afford to go down the path of ungratefulness, doubt, filled with complaints and disheartening conclusions on life and situations.
You can’t afford to jump further down. Gratitude is what will keep your head outside the water so you can finally swim to the nearest land, rather than drowning.
So, my anger and hate, though justified, just kept me in a low vibration for a long time. It is quite sad to see, but lot of people around me are stuck in that state – believing “this is what life is” or that’s the ultimate truth.
I finally started to practice it – it was accidently and with no concious intention. I simply one day, had my heart filled with such warmth towards everything – my hardworking & providing parents, my brother, the birds outside my window, the view from my balcony, food, my eyes, ears ,etc. It sounds weird and stupid – But you all will relate – remember when we watch a movie on blind people’s lives or people with certain disability – the one that moves us! That’s being sympathetic towards them and being grateful that you don’t have it, simultaneously.
Something similar did happen, but that day – filled my heart with joy. It originated as a fear that what if I don’t have what I have even today, which later turned into this warm feeling that, even then I am sure I will remain grateful for something or someone. And if push comes to shove – to the very best – we will be alive to experience that and grow from there. I trust all of us reading this are that capable and blessed.
From a spiritual perspective, Universe always has our back, we just need to be able to see that and appreciate it to invite more such help into our lives. (raise your vibrations)
Coming to the main point of this blog, despite knowing how easy and effective being grateful is, we simply cannot:
Here’s what to do:
- Start simple.
Start by a simple guided meditation, or a simple 1 minute thankyou practice – to god, universe or your parents or partners, your teachers, you body, etc. Just a statement or two, if it feels that weird or so.
2. Be Observant
This is an exercise for both believers and non believers. Its an exercise called introspection. Look and be present – on things where you complain, get frustrated, curse, blame, joke on something sarcastically, etc. Know when you are tapping into the lows of life, and switch immediately to a thing, person or situation you can thank immediately in your mind. It won’t be easy, especially in the beginning. You might even feel fake or an imposter for doing it. But do it anyway.
3. Keep a journal
Some people even love to incorporate this practice in their morning or evening routines. To remind themselves or to tap into that frequency at least once a day, by keeping a journal. Again it could be just one line.
4. Some people might think, the person we are thanking isn’t around to hear it, so what’s the use?
Well, like I said, it’s for you. It is to keep you grounded, positive and happy. You might not feel good thanking a person who will bitch behind your back, but do it anyway – because he or she is teaching you a lesson, an important one indeed.
5. Build a muscle
You have conditioned your mind, for years and it has become an excellent tool – for finding out everything wrong and worse, even admists the most positive or good events possible. Time to train it otherwise through consistency. Try finding good in everything bad. You might seem like a fool, but trust me it got the power to change your situation for the better.
6. Content
Try changing the type of content you watch, atleast reduce it to a bit – songs, news, podcasts, movies, etc. Low vibe content will easily pull you back to a state of low vibration and its quite catchy. You might see all world horrors in one go and would lose your faith in humanity, where is that gonna lead you? Loneliness, one of the lowest state to be in. SO be mindful of what you are constantly proving to your sub-concious mind through these messages in form of content.
7. If you wanna take it a step further, you can create your own ritual around it. I currently do not have one.
WHAT I DO : I have simply adapted a mixture of everything. I thank anything and everything, as and when it happens, most times in my mind and sometimes out loud. I make sure it’s out loud for people in my life and a little quiet ones for objects and situations. Sometimes even through my journal entries, and type of content I watch.
THE KEY IS TO FEEL IT!
Simply saying thankyou without meaning it, is a waste of everyone’s time and energy, including yours. Your state of vibration will not shift, unless you truly become the embodiment of this feeling – just like you are an embodiment of it’s opposite today.
On an ending note, I would just like to say:
That I truly believe, just like embodying state of gratefulness has significantly helped me (one of the biggest battles of my life was won through it), it will help you all too.
This blog became a little lengthier and I still got more to say. I couldn’t finish all thoughts on my mind.
So, I leave it on you guys. If you have any questions – put them down below and I would answer it asap.
Thankyou sooooooooo much for reading.
I am truly grateful if you read so far. Keep being Grateful & Keep shinning brighter.
Catch you soon again!
[…] The Art of Saying “Thankyou”. […]
Check out my other blog on “How to raise your vibration”, as an extention to this one!!