Returning to peace has never been this easy !
Finding yourself in the middle of chaos and screaming endlessly, wishing for a solution or it to go away – I feel, a lot of us, find ourselves there quite often!
There may not be a way to stop all the problems or like I love to say “ have it flowery all the time”, infact I wouldn’t even wish that for any of us, because as cliché as it sounds – its true that pain, sufferings, problems, any fix of any kind helps us see that light at the end of the tunnel.
It makes us appreciate that light, that peace, that solution, or whatever it looks like in your case!
Hello loves,
I am back here, with another heart-warming topic !
I wanna talk about something that I discovered very recently, despite it being with myself, my whole life.
A little context as usual:
I am a person who gets mad quite easily even at issues which I know are not that problematic per se. If any thing goes against my plan I would immediately throw the whole plan out the window, irrespective of any progress up till that point.
I guess you will relate with me on this, especially when we are trying to form any habit or routine.
My morning must start at 7 and I need to do yoga, tea, meditation, that small project, eat healthy blah blah and blah……. And the moment I wake up, at even a minute late -7:01 – its literally the end of the world, ahh…. the whole plan is ruined.
Now I know there are lot of things wrong with such rigid plans, but that ain’t the point.
The point I am trying to make is :
“OUR HATE FOR UNCERTAINTY!”
I know for a fact that lot of my frustration, anger , fear originates from there.
We are thrown into the adult life without ever getting the orientation for it. Suddenly we are free to choose each second of our life and it’s not planned by anyone.
On the flip side of this freedom comes restlessness, fear of missing out, fear of making wrong decisions, lots of contemplation, decision fatigue and the list goes on!
And if you believe me, the root of all this is : Our fear/ hate of uncertainity!
So what if a thing doesn’t go your way, does that really mean it will ruin your entire day?
No, right!
Yeah, we know it right now, we know it even in that moment, but our mind, makes it impossible to live with that!
Its always in survival mode!
Despite us being that wise, we don’t take our own advice!
Why?
Lets take another example, Shall we?
So I have recently gotten back to my spiritual practices and have truly realized its meaning, after so many years of falling out of it and coming back!
It’s essence was not whether I did my meditation, yoga, ate vegetarian food, always thought positive, etc …. NO!
It’s essence is not this rigidity…..It’s essence was to flow with this life and use these tools to elevate it and make the process enjoyable and become aware.
For Half of this journey called LIFE , we run on autopilot.. imagine how much do we miss?
That simple message was understood by me at a very young age, however, it took years to actually realize and implement it. I still slip out quite often honestly, but this truth brings me back now!
Like this morning, I was calm and happy internally. I was happy that I took a step forward in my spiritual journey by overcoming a big fear that had always been a part of my life. However, all that peace, happiness, lessons I learnt or read over the years just flew right out of my mind – the moment a stressful situation arised.
And now that I think of it, it wasn’t that big of an issue either – I just needed to sit and figure things out, which I did in no time.
But my instant response was anger, frustration, yelling at important people, becoming egoistic, saying things I don’t mean, etc etc.
And I am glad to share that I didn’t have to wait till I found a solution to the problem, to come back to my senses and inner peace or calmness ( a bit weird to explain without seeming like a saint: which I’m no where even close to in resemblance).
So what helped me?
How did I find that calmness in chaos?
How did I manage to not throw things in the air ( which I almost did in the moment :! )
HERE’S HOW :
1) It wont happen easily and instantaneously if you are like me, who gets worked up too easily. But trust the process..
Try cultivating that habit over the years. Be mindful of your emotions honestly this has helped me a lot. More often than not I used to dismiss these feelings and over the time I grew more bitter and angry. So a good release of emotions is healthy and remember to appreciate them than to be annoyed at your feelings. Release it now to not bury it deep down and so it doesn’t surface at small inconveniences and you have a legit response to the problem at hand.
2) No matter what, problems are part of life.
And making peace with it is just gonna help us reach the solutions faster. Learn to be mindful of when you are blaming the situation or any person or any external factor for any way that you feel. It hurts to listen to it, trust me… I know, but it’s a choice – the way you choose to deal with that situation or your feelings, is a very conscious choice. SO build that muscle in a good way!
3) Spiritual practices help but so does self-care and introspection (ps: if you are not into spirituality)
4) Take time and space if you need:
Don’t react immediately. I kept repeating this over the years but I still do I still react before introspecting or understanding! Still working on it! But this brings me to the point that affirmations do work, you just have to choose yours – Don’t react didn’t help me but a similar one did – OBSERVE, DON’T BLAME AND QUIET – Every time I start to get worked up, if I remember to say this – it works magic!
5) I can give you a list of things to help you during this time, but it won’t work, unless you decide and choose to work on it!
We all are on auto pilot, due to years of conditioning, let’s take the control back! I know if I can do – it’s not that hard!
To conclude, I would say the three non negotiables of my day : JOURNALING, MEDITATION AND THE BATH ( talked about in my previous blog on morning routine), this makes it easier to remain in control and calm. And having at least 3 things, which hardly take 15 minutes to be done no matter what, helps ease the fear of uncertainty that life is!
Honestly, I love that its uncertain, because how boring would it be otherwise. If everything went as per your plans, if nothing new was there to excite us.
So I remind myself to look at it like “ Everything is a new challenge to grow into that person I want to”, so “ EMBRACE IT”!
Another line that often rings in my head during these times, is by Leeor Alexandra ( a youtuber : I’m practically her fan at this point ) –
“ EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING FOR YOU AND NOT TO YOU”
Thankyou for reading so far, I hope it resonated with you!